Sinfully Savory Keto Pizza Roll-Ups That’ll Make Your Tastebuds Tango
Ever just stand in front of your fridge, door wide open, wonderin’ why nothing speaks to your soul? That’s where I found myself last Tuesday at 2:17 PM, when the idea for these keto pizza roll-ups smacked me upside the head like my Nana Judith’s wooden spoon used to when I’d sneak cookie dough. I’ve been eating low-carb for—wait, is it three years or four now?—doesn’t matter really. The point is, I’ve massacred more cauliflower than I care to admit in the pursuit of pizza substitutes.
These keto pizza roll-ups came to me during what I call a “cheese trance” (that magical moment when you’re staring at dairy products and the universe delivers culinary inspiration). They’re what happens when pizza and keto have a beautiful love child that doesn’t spike your blood sugar or make your pants tight. And listen, I’m gonna teach you my signature “cheese-shingle” technique that’ll change how you approach these forever. Trust me on this one—I’ve never steered anyone wrong except that time with the flambéed eyebrows incident of 2019.
My Rollercoaster Ride to Pizza Roll-Up Perfection
Let me tell ya about my journey to these roll-ups. First attempt? An absolute dumpster fire. The cheese was too hot and I burned three fingertips trying to roll these bad boys. Then I cried. Not because of the pain but because I wasted perfectly good pepperoni.
Joey (my neighbor who thinks he’s a food critic because he watches cooking shows) kept telling me, “You gotta wait for the cheese to cool but not harden.” Easy for him to say from his judgment perch at my kitchen island.
I actually started experimenting with keto pizza alternatives back in Wyoming—don’t get me started on high-altitude cheese melting challenges. The air is so dry there, your mozzarella can desiccate before you’ve even finished shredding it!
My breakthrough came when I started using the “cold-fold method” (I just made that term up, but I’m sticking with it). The technique involves… well, I’ll get to that in the instructions. Let’s just say these keto pizza roll-ups went from sad cheese tacos to the magnificent flavor bombs they are today.
(I still have nightmares about attempt #4, when I used too much almond flour and created what can only be described as “pizza-flavored sand tubes.”)
Ingredients You’ll Need (Or Reasonable Facsimiles Thereof)
- 2 cups mozzarella cheese, shredded (pre-shredded works fine but freshly shredded has a certain… je ne sais cheese)
- 4 oz cream cheese (the block kind, not that whipped nonsense that my ex used to buy)
- ¾ cup almond flour (I’ve been known to use a Bertram scoop, which is roughly ¼ cup measured three times while distracted)
- 1 egg, beaten into submission
- 1 tsp garlic powder (or 2 tsp if you’re not planning on kissing anyone)
- 1½ tsp Italian seasoning (store-bought, or that mystery jar of dried herbs you’ve had since Obama’s first term)
- 24-30 pepperoni slices (the mini ones work too, just use more and don’t count—life’s too short)
- ⅓ cup low-carb pizza sauce (Rao’s is good, or make your own if you’re showing off)
- 2 tbsp grated parmesan, the dry kind that comes in the green canister that fancy people pretend to hate but secretly love
- Optional but recommended: ½ tsp of my famous “red dust” (it’s just paprika with a marketing strategy)
- A sprinkle of oregano for that “I definitely made this from scratch” look
The How-To (Or: Adventures in Not Burning Yourself)
1️⃣ First things first—preheat your oven to 375°F. Or 380°F if your oven runs cool. Mine runs hot on Tuesdays and cold on Fridays, don’t ask me why. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or silicone mat (not wax paper—learned that mistake when my kitchen briefly resembled a smoke machine at a 90s rave).
2️⃣ In a microwave-safe bowl that doesn’t have any weird stains or smells (we’ve all got that one bowl), combine the mozzarella and cream cheese. Nuke it for 1 minute, then stir with something sturdy. The cheese should be melty but not bubbling like a witch’s cauldron. If it’s not melted enough, heat for another 30 seconds—actually, make that 20 seconds. I always overshoot.
3️⃣ Now here comes the tricky part that separates the keto champions from the carb-craving quitters. While the cheese mixture is still warm—not hot, WARM—add the almond flour, egg, garlic powder, and Italian seasoning. Mix it up using my “aggressive fold” technique, which is basically just mixing like you’re angry at the dough but still respect it.
4️⃣ Once your dough is formed (it’ll be a bit sticky, don’t panic), place it between two pieces of parchment paper. Roll it out to about ¼-inch thickness or whatever looks right to your eyeballs. Try to get it into a rectangle-ish shape, but if it looks more like the state of Florida, that’s fine too.
5️⃣ Remove the top parchment and spread a thin layer of pizza sauce across the surface, leaving a 1-inch border around the edges. Why the border? Because I said so, and also because otherwise the filling oozes out and creates what I call a “lava field situation.”
6️⃣. Lay your pepperoni down in what I call a “shingle formation” (overlapping slightly like roof tiles). Sprinkle with half the parmesan and any other toppings your heart desires. Just remember, the more stuff you add, the harder these are to roll.
7️⃣ Using the bottom parchment to help you (and prevent another three-fingertip burning episode), start rolling the dough from one of the short sides. Roll it tight but not so tight that everything squishes out. Think of it like swaddling a baby, except this baby is delicious and acceptable to eat. Check out my guide on perfect keto wrap techniques for more tips!
Notes & Tips That May Contradict Everything You’ve Been Told
• NEVER refrigerate the dough before rolling. Everyone says chilled dough is easier to work with—they’re wrong. For these keto pizza roll-ups, slightly warm dough is more pliable and less likely to crack.
• The perfect cutting technique is what I call the “Aunt Martha’s dental floss method” (which she taught me right after telling me never to trust a recipe that calls for exact measurements). After your roll is formed and cooled for 10 minutes, use unflavored dental floss to slice 1-inch pieces by sliding it under, crossing over top, and pulling through.
• If your first batch falls apart, CELEBRATE! That means you have chef’s snacks. Nobody needs to know.
• Contrary to popular belief, you should NOT drain your pepperoni on paper towels before using. Those little grease cups are flavor vessels that will infuse your roll-ups with porky goodness. Learn more about the science of pepperoni cups
• Store these beautiful keto pizza roll-ups in the fridge for up to 5 days, though they’ve never lasted longer than 18 hours in my house.
Kitchen Arsenal
CHEESE GRATER WITH ATTITUDE ★★★★★
Mine has a slightly bent handle from the time I used it to hammer in a nail during a cooking stream.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07DFNK5TW
SILICONE BAKING MAT FROM THE FUTURE ★★★★★
I’ve had mine since before silicone baking mats were cool, and I refuse to wash it with soap like the manufacturer suggests.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00629K4YK
THE “JUST A GOOD KNIFE” KNIFE ★★★★★
People spend hundreds on fancy Japanese knives, but this $30 workhorse has survived two divorces and a move to Portland.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000638D32
Variations That Might Raise Eyebrows But Trust Me
Try my “Breakfast Roll-Up Remix” by swapping pepperoni for breakfast sausage and adding a tiny sprinkle of cinnamon. Sounds bizarre, tastes like heaven after a night of questionable decisions.
For vegetarians, sub in sautéed mushrooms that you’ve aggressively squeezed dry in a kitchen towel (learned that technique from my imaginary Italian grandmother who visits me in dreams).
During summer, I add three basil leaves and call them “Garden Keto Pizza Roll-Ups” to impress people at potlucks. Get more of my sneaky keto party recipes here!
The Question Everyone Asks But Is Afraid To Ask
Why does my keto dough keep breaking when I try to roll it?
Because you’re treating it like regular dough, you beautiful disaster. Keto dough follows what I call the “Temperamental Toddler Principle”—it needs constant attention, perfect conditions, and sometimes just falls apart anyway. The secret is in the cheese temperature being just right (warm enough to be pliable but cool enough not to burn you). If it breaks, press it back together with your fingers and whisper encouraging words to it. I’m not kidding. Find more troubleshooting tips at Diet Doctor
Final Cheesy Thoughts
These keto pizza roll-ups have saved me from many a late-night carb craving and one particularly memorable snowstorm when I couldn’t leave the house for three days. They’re proof that giving up carbs doesn’t mean giving up joy—just rearranging where you find it.
Will these replace actual pizza in your heart? Maybe, maybe not. Will they satisfy that primal urge to stuff your face with something that tastes like pizza without the carb coma afterward? Absolutely.
I’m currently experimenting with a buffalo chicken version that might make these obsolete, but until then, these reign supreme in my keto kingdom. What keto creation should I tackle next? A question for another day, another kitchen disaster, another triumph.
Until next time, may your cheese always pull and your stomach always be full.
Chef Maggie “The Keto Whisperer” Daniels
First Place, Fictional Wyoming Cheese Sculpture Contest, 2018
Related Recipes
